


The Gays and Gayers.

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: :0, ;))), Agender Kitty, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, F/F, F/M, Gay John Laurens, Kitty is my wife and dont u forget it, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Multi, RIP, Trans Aaron Burr, Trans Alexander Hamilton, Trans Dolley Madison, Trans James Madison, all that shit??, also tjeff/martha w./jmads/dolley arent together at first, expect you know the sexualitys right??, hahahah, hopefully???, i have so much anxiety rn so this is supposed to help, idk is Alex trans?, im okay i think, its just tjeff/marthaw. jmads/dolley at separately at first, lmao what am i doing, man, you gotta guess the genders, you know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-08-08 14:28:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7761475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>no alexander, we will not indulge if ur meme fantasizes</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. WhyAmILikeThis

**Author's Note:**

> GoTheDistance: nO MAN IS WORTH THE AGGRAVATION 
> 
>  
> 
> ElizaBEST: Dear god no.
> 
>  
> 
> LaffywithnoTaffy: Can u not.

The gays and gayers.

AlexanderHambelton: wtf John

TurtlesNGay: LISTEN HERE IT MAY BE 2:00 AM ,BUT NEITHER OF US CAN SLEEP.

ElizaBEST: ,but i can

GoTheDistance: excUSE. so cAN I

AngelProbably: same hERE.

MariahCarey: -.-

LaffywithnoTaffy: i meAN

TurtlesNGay: well,,,

Pegleggy: Maria woke me uP

MartyFromBacktotheFuture: anD YOU WOKE ME Up

GoTheDistance: Alex,,,Eliza,,,

AlexanderHambelton changed their name to ElicksHambelton

ElicksHambelton: Yes?

ElizaBEST: WAIT

GoTheDistance: nO MAN IS WORTH THE AGGRAVATION

ElizaBEST: Dear god no.

LaffywithnoTaffy: Can u not.

ElicksHambelton has changed GoTheDistance to WhyAmILikeThis

WhyAmILikeThis: EXCUSE

ElicksHambelton: Betsey just go back to sleep.

ElizaBEST: If I can cuddle into your side

TurtlesNGay: UM EXCUSE 

ElicksHambelton: Sure :0

TurtlesNGay: i

ElizaBEST: B)

TurtlesNGay: I'm going to sleep too, Alex?

ElicksHambelton: *Elicks

ElicksHambelton: Sure.

ElicksHambelton, TurtlesNGay, ElizaBEST have left this conversation.

WhyAmILikeThis: Did u all go to sleep

LaffywithnoTaffy: Yes and thanks for wakin me uP AGAIN

AngelProbably has changed their name to ICanBeYourAngel

ICanBeYourAngel: -0-

LaffywithnoTaffy, ICanBeYourAngel has left this conversation.

WhyAmILikeThis: Welp its just you guys and me

MariahCarey has left this converstaion.

WhyAmILikeThis: WHAT NO.

PegLeggy: she fell asleep

WhyAmILikeThis has changed their name to Hunk

Hunk: HA

MartyFromBackToTheFuture: ELICKS SPENT YEARS ON THAT NAME HOW DARE YOU.

PegLeggy: HOW COULD YOU?????

Hunk: I AM SHOOK AND SORRY

PegLeggy: chANGE IT BACK OR ELICKS IS GONNA CRY.

Hunk: .....No...?

PegLeggy: I AM DISAPPOINT!

MartyFromBackToTheFuture: I cannot

Hunk: I MEAN I WILL IF HE STARTS CRYING

PegLeggy: yoU BETTER

Hunk: I'm goin to sleep

PegLeggy: niiiiiiight >:0

MartyFromBackToTheFuture: YE NIGHT BD

Hunk, PegLeggy, MartyFromBackToTheFuture have left this conversation.


	2. #StopInsultingHeteros2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BisexualBabe: <33
> 
>  
> 
> JustElicks: <3
> 
>  
> 
> LaffywithTaffy: hetero
> 
>  
> 
> JustElicks: excuse, me a transmale bisexual 22 year old, is not going stand for be called hetero.
> 
>  
> 
> BisexualBabe: ex cuse???? me??????? neither of us our hETERO.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rip i forgot to mention names
> 
>  
> 
> ElicksHambelton - Alexander
> 
>  
> 
> Hunk - Hercules
> 
>  
> 
> LaffywithnoTaffy - Gilbert
> 
>  
> 
> MariahCarey - Maria
> 
>  
> 
> PegLeggy - Peggy
> 
>  
> 
> MartyFromBackToTheFuture - Martha (Manning)
> 
>  
> 
> ElizaBEST- Eliza
> 
>  
> 
> TurtlesNGay- John Laurens
> 
>  
> 
> Angelica - ProbablyAngel
> 
>  
> 
> also imma just say their genders n shit at the end of this chAP RIP

_The gay and gayers._

_ElicksHambelton has changed their name to Betsey <3_

**Hunk** : Really Alex???

 

 **ElicksHambelton** : ex cuse me that s cu Te 

 

 **Hunk** : Um

 

 **Hunk** : any ways oka y

 

 **Hunk** : What time is it?

 

 **ElicksHambelton** : 1) you're on your phone so you can see, 2) Noon, why?

 

 **Hunk** : 1) shit. 2) I have a date with Beth at 2:00! :')

 

 **ElicksHambelton** : I L OVE 

 

 **Hunk** : :'D anyways, I'm buying her something byeeee

 

 **ElicksHambelton** : BYEEEE

 

_ Hunk has left this conversation _

__

**TurtlesNGay** : Heyo.

 

 **ElicksHambelton** : Hiiiii, where's everyone?

 

 **TurtlesNGay** : Work, I got a break a few min ago, you?

 

 **ElicksHambelton** : Sick with Betsey staying home taking care of me <3

 

 **TurtlesNGay** : Awwww, I gotta head back to work, tell Eliza I said Hi.

 

 **ElicksHambelton** : Bye<3 Love you.

 

 **TurtlesNGay** : <3Love you too! byee

 

_TurtlesNGay has left the conversation._

 

 **ICanBeYourAngel** : THAT WAS GAY.

 

 **ElicksHambelton** : you don't say :0

 

 **PegLeggy** : EXCUSE

 

 **MariahCarey** : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS CUT E

 

 **MartyFromBacktotheFuture** : my mY

 

_ ElicksHambelton has changed their name to JustElicks _

 

 **JustElicks** : hAhHAHAHAHAHAHHA

 

 **MariahCarey** : ;)

 

 **JustElicks** : ;)

 

 **LaffywithnoTaffy** : also guess what guys!

 

 **JustElicks** : Hmm?

 

 **LaffywithnoTaffy**  changed their name to LaffywithTaffy

 

 **MariahCarey** : !!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **MartyFromBackToTheFuture** : :'') my sons growing up!!

 

 **JustElicks** : AAAAHHHH :'') all my friends are gettin datesss!

 

 **ICanBeYourAngel** : LO VE

 

 **PegLeggy** : LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE <3

 

_ ICanBeYourAngel has changed PegLeggy's name to Alcoholic. _

 

 **Alcoholic** : Thank

 

 **JustElicks** :  rIP.

 

_MartyFromBacktotheFuture has changed their name to Marty._

 

 **MariahCarey** : CHANGE MY NAME.

 

_LaffywithTaffy has changed MariahCarey's name to BisexualBabe._

 

 **BisexualBabe** : NOOO IM TAKING ALEX'S SPOT ; -- ;

 

 **JustElicks** : You can be BisexualBabe :'0

 

 **BisexualBabe** : <33

 

 **JustElicks** : <3

 

 **LaffywithTaffy** : hetero

 

 **JustElicks** : excuse, me a transmale bisexual 22 year old, is not going stand for be called hetero.

 

 **BisexualBabe** : ex cuse???? me??????? neither of us our hETERO.

 

 **LaffywithTaffy** : #StopInsultingHeteros2016

 

 **ICanBeYourAngel** : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **JustElicks** : Excuse me my gf is hetero and i love her v much

 

 **ICanBeYourAngel** : > . >

 

 **BisexualBabe** : i am offend i leave

 

 **JustElicks** :  s AME

 

_ BisexualBabe, JustElicks have left this conversation. _

 

 **Alcoholic** : I leave for my gf

 

 **Marty** : sa me

 

_Alcoholic, Marty have left this conversation._

 

 **ICanBeYourAngel** : well

 

 **LaffywithTaffy** : Im gonna see my gf byeeee

 

_ LaffywithTaffy has left this conversation _

 

 **ICanBeYourAngel** : #IWillNeverBeFuckingSatisfiedBitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex - Biromantic Bisexual Trans Male (He/Him)
> 
>  
> 
> Eliza - Panromantic Gray Asexual Cis Female (She/Her)
> 
>  
> 
> John (Laurens) - Homoromantic Demisexual Cis Male (He/Him)
> 
>  
> 
> Angelica - Biromantic Demisexual Cis Female (She/Her)
> 
>  
> 
> Peggy - Demigirl Gay Ace (She/They)
> 
>  
> 
> Maria - Biromantic Bisexual Cis Female (She/Her)
> 
>  
> 
> Martha (Manning) - Lesbian TransFemale (She/Her)
> 
>  
> 
> Lafayette - Panromantic Pansexual Non-Binary (They/Them)
> 
>  
> 
> Hercules - Panromantic Graysexual Cis Male (He/Him)
> 
> its 3:06AM send help


	3. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this was short and rushed sorryyy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ElicksHambelton - Alexander
> 
>  
> 
> Hunk - Hercules
> 
>  
> 
> LaffywithTaffy - Gilbert
> 
>  
> 
> MariahCarey - Maria
> 
>  
> 
> PegLeggy - Peggy
> 
>  
> 
> Marty - Martha (Manning)
> 
>  
> 
> Betsey<3 - Eliza
> 
>  
> 
> TurtlesNGay- John Laurens
> 
>  
> 
> Angelica - ICanBeYourAngel

_The gays and gayers._

 

 **TurtlesNGay** : THAT'S IT

 

 **JustElicks** : oh dear god what

 

 **Betsey <3**: JOHN IM SORRY

 

 **Marty** : ??????????????????

 

 **Hunk** : Alec do you know what's going on????

 

 **JustElicks** : Nope.

 

 **TurtlesNGay** : SHE ACCIDENTALLY CALLED TJEFFS

 

 **JustElicks** : Wait did he or James Answer?

 

 **JustElicks** : Cause i dont rlly care if James answered.

 

 **TurtlesNGay** : James.

 

 **Hunk** : IM SURPRISED U DONT CARE

 

 **JustElicks** : Because me and him are kinda acquainted

 

 **JustElicks** : I hate Jeffershit ,but Madisin is kool

 

 **Hunk** : Madisin

 

 **TurtlesNGay** : Madisin

 

 **Betsey <3**: Madisin

 

 **JustElicks** : M a d i s i n

 

 **JustElicks** has added Madisin to this conversation.

 

 **Madisin** : wha t

 

 **Madisin** : d o

 

 **Madisin** : u

 

 **Madisin** :  wa nt

 

 **JustElicks** : idk

 

 **Betsey <3**: IM S ORY??

 

 **Madisin** : lmao idc 

 

 **JustElicks** : there u go

 

 **Betsey <3**: :)

 

 **Madisin** : :^)

 

 **TurtlesNGay** : is,,,is,,,that a nosE????

 

 **Madisin** : Ye s

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James Madison - Biromantic Asexual Transmale (He/Him)
> 
>  
> 
> Dolley Madison - Biromantic Heterosexual Transfemale (She/Her)
> 
>  
> 
> Thomas Jefferson - Panromantic Bisexual Cis Male (He/Him)
> 
>  
> 
> Martha Jefferson - Panromantic Pansexual Cis Female they think rip (They/She)


	4. Emo Kemo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i love to hurt Alex.
> 
> also John's name is "Milch" cause one time he spelled milk milch in a letter, serious you can look it up.
> 
> also this is weird but
> 
> when the texting is 1st person pov they'll have the set names they have for certain people, when its 3rd person pov it'll just have the name they have saved on their own phone, idk why i just have seen that in a few texting fanfics n crap and its a bit more clean tbh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH

_**The Darlings.** _

_**1:15 pm** _

_ [Alexander's Phone] _

 

 **JustElicks** : J ohnn elzij a

 

 **Betsey <3**: Alexander?

 

 **MyDearestJohn** : Alex??

 

 **JustElicks** : i jsut thoughth he wouidl 

 

 **MyDearestJohn** : Who's "He"?

 

\---

_1 New Message from Betsey <3_

_1:20 pm_

_[ Alexander's phone]_

 

 

 **Betsey <3**: Alex, did you send a letter to your dad?

 

 **JustElicks** : Mnoey, that 's allj eh everj wNANTS

 

 **Betsey** <3: Alexander, you need to tell John about your dad, your childhood, you know his, and he didn't force you to tell his, please tell him when you calm down.

 

_You have exited this conversation_

\---

  _1 New Message from Betsey <3_

_[John's phone.]_

_1:25 pm_

 

 **Betsey <3**: John.

 

 **Milch** : Liz?? What's going on?

 

 **Betsey <3**: Alex just needs a breather, he'll be find, he's going to talk to you later.

 

 **Milch** : About.....?

 

 **Betsey <3**: You'll see.

 

_Betsey <3 has exited this conversation_

\---

_1 New Message from JustElicks_

_4:18 pm_

_[John's Phone]_

 

 **MyDearBoy** : John?

 

 **Milch** : Alexander!!

 

 **Milch** : What happened??

 

 **MyDearBoy** : I need to tell you a few things.

 

 **Milch** : What?

 

 **MyDearBoy** : Eliza told me to tell you

 

 **MyDearBoy** : Everything.

 

 **Milch** : Alex.

 

 **MyDearBoy** : She said I need to tell you my childhood.

 

 **Milch** : Alex, you dont have to.

 

 **MyDearBoy** :  John,its only fair if I tell you mine, you told me yours.

 

 **Milch** : Okay.

 

 **MyDearBoy** : You know I grew up in Nevis, St.Croix and that I'm an orphan, so yeah, but

 

 **MyDearBoy** : well, it was good for the first few years, I think, stuff did happen behind close doors, y'know, but yeah, u know when i was 8 i started telling every one to call me a boy and my mom made every go along with it,, a little after I turned 11 my dad left, he just packed up and said "Bye, Son." and he said it so...sarcastic like he didnt mean it, I thought he was just gonna be gone for a little bit but when I saw my mom crying I realized that wasn't true. He was gone, and it was rocky but we got back on our feet, just me, my mom, and my brother, we just started calling him Jem, kinda like Madison's name, cause his name was James Jr [after my dad.] but a little before I turned 13 I got sick, it was alright at first but a little after i was 13 I was on my deathbed, but my mom she just, stayed, didnt evacuate like my brother, I wish she left and came back after I got better, but she didnt and got sick, she was sick for two weeks then she, she just was gone, I just saw her eyes gettign hazy and glassy and suddenly she caressed my cheek and

 

 **MyDearBoy** : she was gone, she wasn't there anymore, I got better a few days later, but she didnt, my brother and i had to move in with our cousin who was having a tough time just living let alone taking care of little kids, and one day I walked into his room and he was dead, shot himself and stabbed himself. My brother got a job away from me while i just stayed with another relative, i've talked about her before, Ann, I worked and yeah and things were not horrible. But then when I was 17 a massive hurricane hit, it was horrendous and,, yeah. But I wrote this thing to my father and my cousin saw and and shared it with people, they started paying for me to go to america and go to collage, e.i the collage where we met, and yeah, I wasnt put into the fostercare system seeing as I was 17 almost 18, I moved in with a childhood friend Ned.

 

 **MyDearBoy** : and the reason for the panic attack early was because of my father, i sent him a letter explaining how life was going and if he wanted to see us, he replied! Saying he was low on money and needed some. didnt say a word abt you, Betsey, or me. no one. not even Angelica, and ye ah.

 

 **MyDearBoy** : and Eliza told me to tell you my entire childhood so you know why i have panic attacks, like during a storm, or i get freaked out when someone we know gets sick, etc.

 

 **Milch** : Alexander, love.

 

 **Milch** : I'm not mad, or anything, just curious but, why didnt you tell me sooner?

 

 **MyDearBoy** : I just felt like,, you'd pity me, you'd see my as this fragile object when I'm not i just,,,plus you have your own problems you dont need to deal with mine.

 

 **Milch** : My Dear Boy, I'm no good with words but I promise you with my entire being that I'd never pity you or think less of you, you have every right to feel this way and to get scared, you aren't a fragile object to me, you're a human who has lived through a great deal of things, and if anything that you've lived this long without letting it bug and bother you every waking moment, and dear, if you can carry your burdens while also knowing mine I can do vice versa. but that doesn't mean I won't fight your Dad. what's his name. 

 

 **MyDearBoy** : John, that was beautiful but I hate to break it to you but thats G a y. (also im not telling you i know you'll get arrested cause you'll kill em like you almost did Lee.)

 

 **Milch** : _Alexander for gods sake._ (also i did that to protect our boss's HONOR.)

 

 **MyDearBoy** : ;^) (but he said to n o t)

 

 **MyDearBoy** : but in all seriousness thank you, I love you so much.

 

 **Milch** : Same to you, My Alexander.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> continuous laughter
> 
> also as u see everything is gucci now.


	5. everythin gucci

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliza loves Jim and Pam, everything is g o o d.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha its 12 am and i forgot to take my sleeping medicine so u know what means!!
> 
> RANDOM INCOHERENT JUMBLES OF TEXT FICS!!

\---

**_The Darlings._ **

**_5:20 pm_**

_[back to ur normal 3rd pov]_

 

 **Betsey <3**: Is everything nice now?

 

 **Milch** : Yes Eliza, everything's thing fine.

 

 **JustElicks** : Yes it is.

 

 **Betsey <3**: okay good, now we have a bit of another problem.

 

 **Milch** : oh boy what is it.

 

 **JustElicks** : B e t s e y

 

 **Betsey** : my dad thinks we're a l l dating eachother like,,,me and john are also dating

 

 **Milch** : me, a simple gay, 

 

**_JustElicks has changed their name to FUCK_ **

 

 **FUCK** : SO WHAT'RE WE GONNA D O, LET HIM GO ALONG OR EXPLAIN WHAT V IS

 

 **Betsey <3**: Scream.

 

 **Betsey <3**: in all seriousness I'll explain to him what a V polyamory relationship is.

 

\---

 **The** **Darlings**.

**7:20 pm**

 

 **Betsey <3**: u two did NOT need to blow up my phone im fine.

 

 **Betsey <3**: he got what it was and said to tell u two he said sorry and thats he sends his blessings and i told him no harm was done, and then i fell alseep after turning on the office and crying c aus ei lo ve p am and jim so MCUH

 

_**FUCK has changed their name to Lion** _

 

 **Lion** : THANK G OD

 

 **Milch** : bless.

 

_**Betsey <3 has changed their name to Betsey** _

 

 **Lion** : Why just drop the "<3"???

 

_Unknown has entered this conversation._

 

 **Unknown** : CAUSE IM LAZY AND ITS GETTING TIRING TO HAVE TO D R A G IT ALL ACROSS THE NAME INSTEAD OF JUST CLICKING IT TWICE TO BOLD YOU PIECE OF _F U C K_

 

 _Unknown_ _has exited this conversion._

 

 **Lion** : What the hell?! _  
_

 

 **Betsey** : ????

 

 **Milch** : liza just said "why not?"

 

 **Lion** : did u two NOT see that unknown number??

 

 **Milch** : alexander go to sleep

 

 **Lion** : jOHN

 

 **Betsey** : alex

 

 **Lion** : elizABETH

 

 **Milch** : night.

 

 **Lion** : BUT

 

 **Betsey** : good night.

 

 **Lion** : ,,,night loves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> U'd never guess who unknown was.


	6. Happy Hoe-days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The person, the legand, the kiTTY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NAMES CAUSE IM DU M B
> 
> Lion: Alex Hamilton
> 
> KitKat: Kitty Livingston
> 
> Betsey: Eliza Schuyler
> 
> Milch: John Laur
> 
> Ange: Our lord and savior, Angie Schuyler
> 
> Alcohol: Peggy Schuyler
> 
> Ukulele: Herc Mulligan
> 
> Jilbare: Lafayette
> 
> Mary: Maria Lewis
> 
> Marty: Martha Manning

_KitKat_

_1:50 am_

 

 **KitKat** : A l e x a n d e r H a m i l t o n

 

 **Lion** : C a t h e r i n e L i v i n g s t o n

 

 **KitKat** : you dID NOT TELL ME YOU WERE DATING SOMEONE IM MAD

 

 **Lion** : KITTY LIST EN

 

 **Lion** : wait did you say "someone"???

 

 **KitKat** : yeah??

 

 **Lion** : dearie, im dating two ppl

 

 **KitKat** : wAIT ARE YOU??

 

 **Lion** : NO NOT CHEATING THEY KNOW ABT EACHOTHER AND THEY RE FRIENDS

 

 **KitKat** : V polyamory relationship?

 

 **Lion** : DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER!

 

 **KitKat** : I want to meet them

 

 **KitKat** : AND THE REST OF YOUR OTHER FRIENDS FOR THAT MATTER

 

 **Lion** : okYA

 

_\---_

**_The Gays and Gayers_ **

 

 **Lion** : yes hello im going to be adding someone

 

 **Ange** : who?? ffs alex stop being so vague

 

 **Lion** : LEAVE ME ALONE IM A C H I L D

 

 **Ange** : Im younger then you?

 

 **Betsey** : omg

 

_Lion has added KitKat to this conversation_

 

 **Ukulele** : wtf i leave y'all alone for FOUR seconds

 

 **Ange** : herc what did i tell u abt using y'all 

 

 **KitKat** : I like ur friends already Alex

 

 **Jilbare** : who are u?

 

 **KitKat** : Catherine Livingston

 

 **KitKat** : I go by Kitty and if any of u call my Catherine i will slice ur throat

 

 **Ange** : im in love

 

 **Ange** : WAIT A SECOND LIVINGSTON???

 

 **KitKat** : yeh

 

 **Ange** : isNT UR FAMILY SUPER RICH N SHIT?

 

 **KitKat** : y e p

 

 **KitKat** : ok but who are all of you??

 

 **Ange** : Angelica Schuyler

 

 **Betsey** : Elizabeth Schuyler

 

 **Milch** : John Laurens

 

 **Jilbare** : Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette

 

 **Ukulele** : Hercules Mulligan

 

 **Alcohol** : Margarita Schuyler

 

 **Mary** : Maria Lewis

 

 **KitKat** : wtf how have i heard of ALL ur friends expect Mulligan and Lewis?

 

 **KitKat** : wait is herc the greek god

 

 **Ukulele** : nah man

 

 **KitKat** : SO I HAVENT HEARD 2/7 OF UR FRIENDS WTF

 

 **Lion** : eH

 

 **KitKat** : also which of u are dating my son??

 

 **Betsey** : i am

 

 **KitKat** : and whos the other???

 

 **Milch** : i am also

 

 **KitKat** : ur dating a Schuyler AND a Laurens?

 

 **KitKat** : not to mention at one point me n u slept together?

 

 **KitKat** : nice catch

 

 **Betsey** : eHAT

 

 **Milch** : w     h     a     t

 

 **KitKat** : wait did u not know that???

 

 **KitKat** : dont worry tho that was when he was living w/ me

 

 **Milch** : oh

 

 **Milch** : wait a second out of the either other ppl in this chat who has slept with Alex

 

 **Lion** : WTF MY BOYF RI END

 

 **KitKat** : ill keep tally so rn its 3/8

 

 **Jilbare** : I did

 

 **KitKat** : 4/8

 

 **Ange** : i did but we were both drunk and dont rlly remember much

 

 **KitKat** : 5/8

 

 **Mary** : sadly i did

 

 **Lion** : mAIRA

 

 **Mary** : sorRY

 

 **KitKat** : 6/8

 

 **KitKat** : anyone else?

 

 **Ukulele** : I havent

 

 **Alcohol** : neither have i

 

 **KitKat** : wow

 

 **KitKat** : thats the majority of the chat

 

 **KitKat** : what do u want to say for urself Alex?

 

 **Lion** : DIVORCE, DIVORCE, DISOWNED AS MY PARENT.

 

 **Lion** : BLOCKED BLOCKED BLOCKED BLOCKED BLOCKED BLOCKED

 

 **Lion** : NONE OF U ARE FREE OF S I N

 

 **KitKat** : : )

 

 **KitKat** : anyone else we know who has slept w/ Alex?

 

 **Lion** : END THIS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!
> 
> also i dont use y'all cause i try my best to seem not southern(tm) cause i hate being southern but some ppl in this do.
> 
> also literally EVERYONE in this god damn story is queer so,,
> 
> Kitty - Panromantic Pansexual (Feminine) Agender (She/They) [also she's k she/her and "ma'am" n "madam" but not "ms.", "mrs", and "miss" and also she doesnt like being called girl or woman sO, but she's k with being called wife/partner but prefers datemate rather than gf :0]
> 
> also if u think just cause Alex's was also attracted to Kitty doesnt make him bi bc she's agender
> 
> ding dong ur wrong


	7. Some lint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lint is a synonym for fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Names again
> 
> Marty: Martha Manning
> 
> Mary: Maria Lewis
> 
> Lion [ti frè on Peggy's phone]: Alex Hamilton
> 
> KitKat: Kitty Livingston
> 
> Neddle Peddle: Ned Stevens
> 
> Robbo: Robert Troup
> 
> Betsey: Eliza Schuyler
> 
> Milch: John Laur
> 
> Ange: Our lord and savior, Angie Schuyler
> 
> Alcohol: Peggy Schuyler
> 
> Ukulele: Herc Mulligan
> 
> Jilbare: Lafayette

_**My bbys** _

_**12:12 pm** _

_**-** _

 

 **Marty** : I'm still arguing with that name for the group chat

 

 **Mary:** ssshhhh im tryin to make us goals

 

 **Alcohol:** u mean we arent already??

 

 **Mary** : bc OTHER ppl dont believe we are ://

 

 **Marty** : sure

 

 **Alcohol** : fCUK

 

 **Mary:** XD

 

 **Marty** : did u jsut,,,

 

 **Alcohol** : hold the fuCK up

 

 **Mary** : XDDD

 

 **Marty** : WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY MOUTHS YET SO LITTLE EYES

 

 **Marty** : NONE TO BE EXACT

 

 **Mary** : ZOINKS

 

 **Alcohol** : STOP IT

 

 **Mary** : :'(

 

 **Alcohol** : wait bby nO

 

 **Marty** : BABE N O

 

 **Marty:** look what u did pEG

 

 **Mary** : peg is a nickname of peggy which is a nickname of margarita

 

 **Marty** : well

 

 **Alcohol** : WE ARENT TALKING ABT THIS

 

 **Marty** : dears?

 

 **Mary** : yes love?

 

 **Alcohol** : ew

 

 **Mary** : u are our WIFE too

 

 **Alcohol:** like i said, ew,

 

 **Mary** : i thought u loved us :(

 

 **Alcohol:** I DO!!

 

 **Mary** : I do

 

 **Marty** : I do

 

 **Mary** : i know pronounce you wife, wife, and wife/partner, you may make out.

 

 **Alcohol:** already doing that sweetheart

 

 **Mary** : MCUFKCIGN

 

 **Alcohol** : also marth says love you!!

 

 **Mary** : !!! tell her i said love you too

 

 **Alcohol** : and no love for mEEHAHMKjjsksJJSJ

 

 **Mary:** ???????

 

 **Alcohol:** I stole their phone - Martha

 

 **Mary** : oh dearie,,,,why?

 

 **Alcohol** : they started laughing cause they saw a meme from Alex

 

 **Mary** : is it another yuri!!! on ice thing??

 

 **Alcohol** : YES BC THEY ARE BOTH WEEBS

 

 **Alcohol:** THIS IS PEGGY WTF I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING MARTHA

 

 **Marty** : WE DO BUT I PERSONALLY D O N T WANT TO GO BACK INTO MY ANIME PHASE

 

 **Alcohol** : BACK?

 

 **Marty** : shitshitshiTSHITSHITSHIT

 

 **Alcohol** : hug hug fall off a bridge

 

 **Marty** : LIST ENj

 

 **Mary** : what was the meme??

 

 **Alcohol** :

 

> _ti frè has sent youdontremember.png_
> 
> _ti frè: VIKTOR IS FUCKIGN STUPID I LOVE HIM_
> 
> _Alcohol: - Yuuri Katsuki_

 

 **Marty** : cries in deep gay

 

 **Mary** : WHY ARE U LIKE THIS PEGGY

 

 **Alcohol** : :)

 

\---

_**Ukulele &Sandy** _

_**5:31 pm** _

-

 

 **Sandy** : Herc!!

 

 **Ukulele** : Bethy!!

 

 **Sandy** : how've you been since the date? feel like we havent talked in a while :)

 

 **Ukulele:** i've been good, wbu?

 

 **Sandy** : ive been okay!! my friend Addy got fired from their job tho :(

 

 **Ukulele** : wait u mean Lafayette's partner?

 

 **Sandy:** yeah!! 

 

 **Sandy** : they've got some money but not enough for next months rent :(

 

 **Ukulele** : i imagine she's gonna move in with Laf, right?

 

 **Sandy** : um, Herc,

 

 **Ukulele** : yeah?

 

 **Sandy** : Addy is genderfluid

 

 **Ukulele** : !! im so sorry!!

 

 **Sandy** : its fine!! they go by they/them

 

 **Ukulele** : okay, i'll try to remember that !!

 

 **Sandy** : !! <3

 

 **Ukulele** : <3

 

\---

_**The freninis** _

**_1:47 am_ **

-

 

 **KitKat** : WHAT UP NERDS

 

 **Robbo** : e x cuse ur sELF

 

 **Neddle** **Peddle** : everyday a little death

 

 **Robbo** : SHUT UP NED U ARE ONLY HELPING HER STATEMENT

 

 **KitKat** : ;)

 

 **Lion** : omg s t op

 

 **Robbo** : AMAZING.

 

 **Neddle** **Peddle** : stfu all of u i want 2 sleep

 

 **Robbo** : NO FUCK U

 

_Neddle Peddle has muted this conversation._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun im aliiiiiiiive ;)

**Author's Note:**

> hHAHHAHAHAHA WHAT AM I WRITING?????
> 
> lmao send hELP


End file.
